


pas de deux

by dearhappy



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/F, Pre-Series, ballet (except not really), mostly girls being in love with girls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 07:49:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13608858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearhappy/pseuds/dearhappy
Summary: It's on a Friday within the first week that Rosa meets her. And Rosa comes to the realization that this girl is something else entirely and she’s glad she agreed to be partners. It’s also the day they come to a silent agreement that it’ll always be the two of them.(or snapshots of rosa's time at the national ballet academy and the fight that got her kicked out)





	pas de deux

**Author's Note:**

> tw: mentioned homophobia & use of the d slur (to avoid these things skip these sections, 1. starting with “They don’t actively hide that their a thing” and ending with “But Rosa also sees the way Grace” 2. starting with “On the other side of the curtain” and ending with “All Rosa sees is red”.)
> 
> so, hi. i saw a post (that i can no longer find) talking about what if rosa fought ballerinas because they found out about her girlfriend, so naturally when i was rewatching the episode where she tells terry about the ballet academy i remembered that post and thus this was born. i kind of ran with it and this ended up longer than intended but whatever.
> 
> also i know nothing about ballet or the national ballet academy but when i was looking it up it's apparently in colorado? so yeah, this was written with the assumption that it's like a boarding school. 
> 
> anyways, feedback is greatly appreciated, and enjoy!

-

It’s on a Friday within the first week of her attending the National Ballet Academy that she meets her. 

Their instructor tells them to pair off for warm ups. And Rosa has been dreading having to pair off and interact with others. She was never one for making friends, so she sits to the side stretching her legs as she watches all of the others giggle and pair off. 

She’s expecting to be the last one chosen like she always is. The one that nobody wanted to be with but somebody got stuck with because she was the only choice left. But then a girl stands in front of and smiles brightly. 

“Hey, do you want to be partners?”

Rosa looks up at her with a steady gaze that’s hiding her surprise at being acknowledged. She frowns as she takes in the girl expecting her to shrink away under her gaze like people normally do but she only stands tall waiting expectantly. Rosa decides then that she likes her already. 

“Sure,” she says, looking down as she waits for their instructor to give them more instructions.

“I’m Grace, by the way,” she says abruptly, a soft smile still on her lips as she watches Rosa. 

Rosa glances at her quickly humming slightly in response. And because she figures that Grace is waiting for her to introduce herself, she says, “Rosa.”

“How fitting.”

And when Rosa furrows her brows and asks how, she only gives her a intoxicatingly beautiful blinding smile that makes Rosa feel dizzy just looking at it.

That day she doesn’t ever get close to figuring out what Grace had meant with the fitting comment, but she does realize that Grace is something else entirely and she’s glad she agreed to be partners. That’s the day they come to a silent agreement that it’ll always be the two of them.

 

*

 

“You don’t talk much,” Grace says one day, they’re sitting underneath the old tree that’s out front of the Academy. 

Rosa looks over to meet Grace’s gaze, and usually she’d lash out with an insult because when people comment on her being quiet they’re saying it as if something is wrong with her for keeping to herself, but Grace says it like it’s just a fact. And she’s looking at Rosa with soft eyes that hold a strong sense of curiosity. 

And that’s different than what she’s used to, she feels her breath catch in her throat as she watches Grace. “I don’t have much to say,” she finally says with a shrug.

Grace’s gaze doesn’t leave Rosa’s face, she hums as she turns away. “I doubt that,” she says softly, looking ahead at the surrounding area. “I’m sure you have a lot to say.”

Rosa isn’t sure how to respond to that so she just shakes her head. “No, I don’t,” she insists. 

There’s a moment of silence between them as Grace looks at her with her curious eyes like she can see right through Rosa’s soul and it makes her feel so exposed as she tries her best not to shrink away at her measuring gaze. 

“You just don’t like talking or opening up, that’s not the same as not having things to say.”

Once again Rosa is completely dumbfounded by something Grace says, it’s not the first time and she’s betting it won’t be the last. And she truly has no idea what to say except that she has a point, and she hates that Grace can do this thing where she just gets her in a way nobody else has.

 

*

 

They’re sitting across each other in a diner that’s so brightly colored it makes Rosa eyes hurt and annoyed because really, the decor is tacky. And Grace is there tapping a beat out on the table as she watches the cars go by, and Rosa just can’t be annoyed as she watches this brightly colored girl.

It’s weird, this thing between them because they’re different in all the obvious ways. At first glance their friendship doesn’t make sense. But then there’s the things they have in common, all the shared interests and all the similarities between them that run so deep in their bones. Both fighters who are trying to prove that they’re good enough. 

And they click in all the ways that actually matter.

She’s pretty sure Grace is the best friend she’s ever had and she does not want to mess that up. Her heart is a traitor though and beats faster each time Grace smiles at her.

“What made you decide to take ballet?” Grace asks as they wait for their food, she’s still tapping away a beat to a song that Rosa just can’t quite name. 

She’s surprised by that because nobody asks her that. They usually look at her and see displaced anger and sharp edges and scoff as they say, you’re a ballerina? As if that’s the most ridiculous thing they’ve ever heard. And everyone is also so off put by her quietness by the fact she likes to be alone that they never bother to get to know her or even ask about her (which is fine by her, she doesn’t like people knowing too much).

But it’s nice because Grace is different. She didn’t take that quietness as Rosa being cold, just guarded and she genuinely wants to get to know Rosa in a way she is not used to, but is willing to allow.

“It just seemed fun. And challenging in a way,” she answers, with a shrug unsure of how to explain what made her drawn to it because she's not quite sure herself. “I used to do gymnastics too.”

Grace’s face lights up at that. “Really?” 

Rosa nods.

“Did you have to wear those ridiculously shiny leotards?” She asks with humor in her tone, and laughter in her eyes.

Rosa rolls her eyes fondly. “Yep,” she answers as she throws the wrapper of her straw at Grace before she continues, “Sometimes even covered in glitter.”

Grace laughs, and it’s like music and bells and all the beautiful sounds Rosa can think of. “I bet you looked beautiful,” she says. 

And it’s so sincere that Rosa can practically hear her brain short circuit as she tries to remind herself not to get her hopes up or read too much into it. She’s saved from replying by the waitress bringing their orders. 

Later, when they’re making their way back to the Academy for curfew, Grace turns to her after she tells an awful joke and smiles that beautiful smile of hers that makes Rosa’s traitorous heart thud loudly and she feels dizzy in the best way.

 

*

 

Grace is poised and precise and perfect, she is everything a ballerina should be. And when she moves she’s so breathtakingly beautiful.

Then there are moments where her hair is a mess of tangles instead of it’s usual pristine bun, she’s snorting as she’s laughing. She’s rambling on about her favorite things and what’s important to her with a burning passion in her eyes. And Rosa thinks she’s just as breathtakingly beautiful in those moments as she is when she’s the perfect ballerina. 

She watches Grace in all these moments and gets that fluttering feeling that makes her head spin.

 

*

 

It’s on a Friday night a few months into the Academy when Grace first kisses her and Rosa is so surprised that she freezes before it’s over all too quickly. She stares at Grace, because she hadn’t expected for this wonderful girl to like her back in that way. 

“Oh, god,” Grace says as she looks at Rosa. She’s stepping back putting as much distance between them as she can, her eyes are wide and panicked. “I’m so sorry, I just. I thought- I… God, sorry Rosa. Sometimes, you’re hard to read but I really… I read the signs wrong. Please don’t hate me.”

It takes a moment for things to click, Rosa shakes her head quickly. “No! Don’t be sorry, it’s fine really,” she says, “I liked it. I like you, I’m sorry I was surprised.”

Grace is watching her cautiously, like she’s expecting a punchline or something. And there’s a sinking feeling in Rosa’s stomach as she thinks what must have happened to this wonderful girl to make her look that way. 

“Really?” she asks softly, and she’s still keeping her distance.

“Really. Honestly, I could never hate you, Grace,” she responds, she takes a deep breath before stepping forward. Grace’s eyes track her as she moves to close the distance between them until their bodies are touching. Rosa reaches her hand up to cup Grace’s face and then she goes in closing the distance completely.

Grace tastes like spearmint and strawberries and the red lipstick that is definitely smudging as their lips move together. The kiss is wonderful and when they break away Grace has this dopey smile on her face as she looks at Rosa with stars in her eyes. 

“You’re amazing,” she mumbles pressing quick kisses to Rosa’s lips. 

And Rosa smiles softly as she chases after Grace’s lips. 

 

*

 

They don’t actively hide that they’re a thing, but they’re not parading it around either.

Because she knows how the girls who like girls are treated by some of the other ballerinas. There’s this toxic thing where they’re expected to live up to the perfect idyllic standards of femininity in all aspects, which means liking men. And it’s complete and utter bullshit. 

She’s pretty sure there’s more than a few girls at the Academy that are so far in the closet because it’s a matter of survival. She doesn’t blame them because some girls can be so cruel. 

They make fun of girls who don’t match those perfect standards, like Rosa who when she’s not wearing costumes or leotards is wearing combat boots and has an affinity for dark colors. And they throw around casual homophobia despite a claiming to support gay people. Because really they only mean they support the gay males in the school because there’s a weird double standard.

They give false support and then turn around and say the word lesbian like it’s a dirty word with so much distaste. They say it like it’s the worst thing a girl can be and it takes everything in Rosa not to punch any of them right on the spot. 

And god, does Rosa always get so ready to just punch them for being so gross and offensive, but each time she even considers it Grace grips her wrist tightly, and gently says, “Don’t. They’re not worth it.”

Rosa clenches her jaw and sends a dagger filled glare to whoever decided to be an asshole that day, before relaxing letting her fists unball as she stands down because they really aren’t worth it.

But Rosa also sees the way Grace flinches any time she overhears, but quickly smiles so brightly and pretends it’s fine. And Rosa sees the way she lets her sadness show when she thinks nobody is looking at her and that causes Rosa to ache so much because she never wants Grace to be sad.

“How can you not be angry enough to just punch them?”

There’s a flash of something in Grace’s eyes as she looks at Rosa, but it’s gone too quickly and all that’s left is this serious glint that replaces the usual spark. “I never said I’m not angry,” she answers carefully, and she looks away staring at the ceiling instead. “I am so angry all the time. So angry that they can say those things and think it’s okay, but… Punching them won’t solve anything.”

Rosa stares at her profile, tracing the curve of her nose and lips with eyes. She watches the way her lashes flutter when she blinks. “I don’t know about that, I think punching them would teach them to keep their mouth shut,” she finally says.

Grace chuckles shaking her head before turning on her side facing Rosa. “You’ll only get in trouble, and they won’t care how righteous your reasons are,” she says softly, she’s reaching out her hand caressing Rosa’s cheek. 

“Maybe, it’d be worth it,” she mumbles leaning into Grace’s soft touch closing her eyes as she does it. 

“No. It won’t,” Grace says way too quickly that Rosa opens her eyes to look at her, and there’s this fire in her eyes as she clenches her jaw slightly. 

It’s something Rosa had never once seen her the entire time she’s known her, and she finds it scary hot. “Then what do you suggest? It’s not fair,” she says, searching Grace’s face as she softens but the fire. 

The fire is still in her eyes when she speaks. 

“I think,” she starts slowly, “we should work our asses off, so that we’re not only the bigger person but the better dancer. Success is much better form of revenge.”

And Rosa thinks Grace is way too good for this world, but she also thinks the world is not ready for Grace with all her determined fire and brightness.

 

*

 

Things go downhill when Britney A. catches them making out behind the Academy building and of course it takes roughly twenty minutes for every student to know. They can’t do anything without judging and prying eyes following them along with snide and offensive remarks. 

Rosa glares and spends even more of her energy reminding herself that they’re not worth it, she shouldn’t punch them no matter how much they deserve it. 

And Grace only shows weakness in moments nobody is looking, where no one but Rosa can see. All other times she is the picture of strength, she holds her head held high and smiles just as brightly as ever, even if most of the friends she’s made are distancing themselves and some are being pressured to not talk to either of them. It’s like overnight they became pariahs all because they happen to like each other and it’s so fucking unfair. 

She focuses her energy on distracting Grace from the hurt and putting so much effort on perfecting her craft until her feet are aching too much to bare.

 

*

 

They’re spending the second half of the lunch time sitting in between the bookshelves of the library because it’s one of the places they can have peace without one of the other’s judging eyes. 

“What’s New York like?” Grace ask suddenly.

Rosa looks up from her book, glancing at where Grace is looking at her from her spot on the floor with her legs laid over Rosa’s. Her own book resting open on her stomach.

It takes a moment for Rosa to think about it, she looks at the shelves in front of her and shrugs. “It’s alright,” she answers, because she’s lived in New York all her life she’s seen all the good and all the bad it has to offer. “It’s not as special as people think it is.”

“Hm,” she hums thoughtfully, “everywhere is special, in it’s own ways.”

Rosa snorts, “God, you’re so cheesy,” she mutters.

Grace rolls her eyes in response and says, “You love it,” she insists, leaning forward to poke Rosa’s sides. 

This time it’s Rosa’s turn to roll her eyes, with the ghost of a smile as she answers, “Yeah, I do.” And Grace beams at the response, and Rosa’s heart feels like it’s going to burst at the seams as she smiles back. 

There’s a brief lull in conversation, as Grace gently grasps Rosa’s hand in her own rubbing smooth circles over Rosa’s skin. 

“I think you’ll get to see New York for yourself someday,” Rosa says suddenly. Grace raises her brow, and she continues, “I mean you’re one of the best dancers here. The job offers are guaranteed, you’ll be performing all around the world.”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” Rosa says earnestly as she leans over to kiss her.

 

*

 

As much as Rosa has always thought and still thinks she should take a more direct action, usually violent, approach at getting back at people, she has to admit maybe Grace had a point about that whole success thing. 

Because when the set list for the big mid year showcase gets announced Grace ends up getting to be part of the duet that is the performance spot right before the big closing number. The spot that everyone has been tirelessly competing for and usually goes to the ones who have been at the Academy longer, but Grace gets the spot. 

And she beams as she reads where her name is printed in all caps, and then she’s smiling that blinding brilliant beautiful smile of hers as she pulls Rosa into a tight hug.

 

*

 

Dancing makes Rosa feel like she’s invincible, even if the stage lights are blinding and there’s a pressure to be nothing less than perfect, she lives for it. There’s a strange exhilaration and freeing feeling of having an audience’s captivation, they can only judge her on the performance.

They see only what she gives them and that’s a sense of control that Rosa clings to with every performance she gives. 

And she has never really cared about approval but when Grace gives her that soft smile and squeezes her hand gently, with a “You were amazing.” She preens and feels even more invincible than she had onstage. 

“I feel ridiculous,” she admits after a moment looking down at the tutu of her costume. 

Grace is laughing as she looks her over. “Maybe, but you make it work.” 

Then one of the techs are calling Grace’s name, giving her the time warning that she’ll be going on soon. And Rosa squeezes her hand reassuringly, and says, “Go get ‘em.”

As the lights dim and the music starts up again, signaling the beginning of Grace and her duet partners number. Rosa is tucked away, watching from the sidelines of the backstage area. She’s completely mesmerized by the way Grace moves, how she commands the stage. 

A swell of pride fills Rosa’s heart as she watches because Grace is truly magnificent. 

On the other side of the curtain, she hears whispers from the other girls who are watching the performance. One of the girls say, in an awed voice, “She’s so incredible.”

Rosa smiles just slightly at that, the pride growing even more as she looks back at Grace again being lifted by Vince. 

Then, another girl scoffs. “Yeah, well, too bad she’s a dyke,” she sneers, her voice dripping with venom. 

And that’s the last straw. It’s as if all the snide insults said behind their backs has been slowing building up, and this. That single word is the last spark before the explosion, because Rosa can not take this anymore. She can not ignore their ignorance and cruelness anymore. 

All Rosa sees is red, burning red, as she rushes around the curtain with her fury all out in the open. The girls turn to see her and one says, “Well, look-”

But she never gets to finish whatever she was going to say, probably throwing some insult, because Rosa punches her. And doesn’t stop, until her and the three girls are all a mess of limbs trying to injure each other.

Rosa is a hurricane of pent up anger and fists and she can’t help it. Until eventually she’s being dragged away from the girls kicking and screaming.

 

*

 

She sits in the office in her ridiculous costume with a bleeding lip and an aching eye where a bruise is forming and watches as the instructors look at her with disappointment in their eyes as they attempt to get to bottom of the situation. Mrs. McCoy sighs heavily before asking for the second time, “So why did you punch Miss Rogers?”

Rosa has already accepted that they’ll probably kick her out and as sad as that makes her feel she can’t find it in her to regret it or even care anymore, so she only shrugs. “She deserved it,” she says simply.

“Yes. But would you care to elaborate? Why did you feel she deserved it?”

She shrugs again, and refuses to cooperate for the rest of the meeting. She’s sits in the hall and waits, until finally Mrs. McCoy calls her back in and the administrators inform her they’ve come to a decision. They inform her of what she has already figured was coming. 

The closest thing to an emotion she shows them about this is her looking down at the floor before saying, “Okay,” and then she gets up out of her seat and is escorted to the living quarters. 

 

*

 

The rest of her classmates are probably in the concert hall celebrating a mostly successful performance and the halfway mark of their year. Those whose parents made the trip for the show are catching up with them. Everyone is busy having fun, but she is standing in her room alone gathering her things and folding her clothes into her suitcases.

“So it’s true, you’re leaving.”

She freezes midway through folding a shirt, her shoulders tensing as she shuts her eyes momentarily before continuing to fold things. She doesn’t look up to where Grace is standing in the doorway, she doesn’t want to see the disappointment in her eyes, because it’ll be harder to ignore than any of the teachers disappointment. 

“Well, that’s what being expelled means,” she says sardonically as she shrugs, she knows it’s a low ball but it’s the only thing she can say. 

Grace sighs. And Rosa hears her take a few more steps into the room, but she still refuses to look up. She feels ashamed for doing something that Grace has been telling her not to do. They fall into a tense silence, that stretches on as Rosa slowly busy herself with packing.

“Rosa,” she says softly breaking the silence, “Will you just look at me.” Her voice is all wrong, choked up just a bit, and Rosa knows it’s because of her. It’s her fault that Grace is upset. 

Rosa swallows hard as she debates with herself before letting her shoulders slump turning to face Grace. Her tongue feels heavy in mouth as she starts to say something but the words are lost in her throat. Eventually, she lets out a choked up, “I’m sorry.”

“No,” Grace responds quickly stepping forward immediately. She shakes her head, “No, don’t be sorry. You don’t have to apologize for anything.”

There’s a pause as Rosa simply nods. They’re standing in front of each other, and Rosa feels a twinge in her heart because this might be the last time for all they know. 

“It sucks though, that you’re leaving,” Graces says almost as if she can read Rosa’s mind, she sits on the bed looking down at her shoes. 

Rosa hums in agreement before pushing her suitcase back to sit next to Grace. “So this is it, huh?” she asks after a moment of silence. Through her peripheral she can see Grace looking at her.

“Is it?” She asks quietly. 

“Well,” Rosa starts turning her head to look at Grace, “I don’t know how well long distance will work out.”

Grace licks her lips as she looks away at the other side of the room. She looks as if she’s thinking it over, contemplating if she agrees or not. Finally, she says, “Yeah, I guess it wouldn’t.” She looks back at Rosa with a sad smile. “But we’ll stick keep in touch, right? I don’t want us to not be friends.”

“Of course, we’ll keep in touch,” Rosa promises, lightly bumping their shoulders together. 

“Good,” Graces says and then sighs as she looks at the pile of things on the bed and at the opened drawers. “So, uh, need help packing?”

And that’s how they spend the rest of Rosa’s stay, packing up all her belongings so she can get on the next flight out of there back. They laugh and joke and avoid tears because Grace knows Rosa isn’t the emotional type.

Still, when all the bags are packed and Ms. Jones is waiting to drive her to the airport, Grace pulls Rosa into a hug and Rosa softly whispers, “I’m gonna miss you so much.”

 

*

 

The years past and they grow older and busier with responsibilities and jobs and talk less and less, but Grace still makes sure to call her every once in awhile to see how she’s doing and vice versa. And Grace is still one of her best friends even if they don’t see each other often.

And every time Grace has a job performing in New York City, she calls Rosa up and tells her there’s a ticket for opening night with her name on it.

“Told you that you’d see the world,” Rosa says when she finally gets to see her after the performance. “You were amazing.”

Grace laughs softly and smiles that bright smile of hers as she curtsies over dramatically. “Thank you,” she says, and adds after a pause, “Do you ever think about getting back on the stage?”

And really, Rosa would be lying if she said the thought hadn’t occurred a few times, the thoughts about what could’ve been. But then those thoughts die because as much as she loves dancing, she thinks about how she enjoys her job as a cop a lot more. But mostly, she thinks about the friends she’s made at the precinct, the friends who have become a sort of family to her, and she doesn’t think twice about ballet.

“Nah, I’m good exactly where I am,” she says honestly, “I’ll leave the stage to you.”


End file.
